Welcome to the holiday season. Here's a shopping list, guest list, traffic jam, pink slip, overdue bills, swine flu, in-laws, airline tickets and people in need.

Don't forget to be jolly.

Those who find the most wonderful time of the year to be the most stressful are in good company this year.

"I've never heard somebody say the holidays are a time of bliss and being stress-free," said Dr. John P. Forsyth, associate professor of psychology at SUNY Albany. "It's going to be too much to do and not enough time to do it, and people will feel squeezed by that, and that squeezing is linked up to a stress response."

And this holiday season, which arrives amid profound economic distress for a record number of Americans, promises to give particularly good squeeze.

"Things have changed in the past two and a half years," said Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, a social worker, psychologist and frequent contributor to the National Association of Social Workers' consumer Web site, helpstartshere.org.

"Adult children are moving home," Wish continued. "Some couples can't afford to get divorced - you would think perhaps that would propel you to work on your marriage, but some couples say, ‘We can't be married, but we have to live under one roof.'

"Many seniors have been hit by a dip in their portfolio, so people over 60 are having to return to the work force - not as volunteers or a dabbling job one and a half afternoons at their favorite store - but having to go back and get substantial salaries."

A poll conducted earlier this month by the Associated Press showed 20 percent of 1,006 adults surveyed nationwide said they were suffering from debt-related stress, up from 15 percent in the spring.

It all makes for busy days at the Saratoga Stress Reduction Program on Henry Street in Saratoga Springs, where Dr. Selma Nemer said she's seeing a different kind of stress this year.

"What I'm seeing is an escalated intensity of mostly anxiety," Nemer said. "Usually, stress is connected with anxiety."

And not just for adults.

"There's no way (children) can't see it," said Wish. "They see their parents exhausted, snippy, have less time to spend with them, and children have memories of happy holidays.

"What would you do if your parents said to you, ‘Look, we can't afford to get you more than one toy.' Or, ‘This year, we have to concentrate on spending our money on getting you shoes.' We're back to basics now."

Stress control

Experts in the field of stress are careful to point out that not all stress is bad. The right kind and amount of stress can increase your productivity. Problems arise when stress begins to adversely affect your mental and physical health.

There are signs - wide mood swings, increased use of drugs or alcohol, refusal to socialize and sudden changes in weight among them, Wish said.

"Symptoms of stress ... are typically problems sleeping, problems falling asleep, problems staying asleep, waking up early, isolating, withdrawing, getting sick a lot more, forgetting," said Nemer, of the Saratoga Stress Reduction Program. "People also talk about what we call automatic pilot - noticing you're driving and you don't know where you are. You've gone past your exit.

"Feeling more irritable, feeling more depressed than usual - these can be signs of stress. There certainly can be other things, too.

"If someone is pushing themselves more than the system can tolerate or handle, they need to take that seriously."

The good news is, experts say much of how stress affects us is, ultimately, up to us.

Forsyth, who is also co-author of "The mindfulness and acceptance workbook for anxiety," said the stress response for many comes down to how they perceive the causes of stress in their lives - holidays or no.

"A strategy here - I think a useful one - is to slow things down and to focus on where you are and what it is that you would like to do and be about right where you are," Forsyth said. "Because, that's the only place you are, anyway."

For instance, a holiday shopper stuck in a line, waiting to buy a gift for a loved one, may begin to stress out. Thoughts about the things waiting on the to-do list and the feeling of going nowhere can push the person toward anxiety.

"What can get lost there is the purpose being served by waiting in line, which might be, ‘I really want to share a gift with somebody; this is important to me.'" Forsyth said. "We lose that when we get caught up in the judgment and what our mind is doing ... the rush, rush, rush mode of mind."

So, stop, look and listen, Forsyth suggests. Focus on the things that matter and the reasons behind the actions of each moment.

A motorists caught in a shopping center traffic jam, or the person waiting to buy groceries at a deli counter for the holiday feast can use the same advice.

"You do not have to be a guru sitting on a mountain," said Nemer. "You can take a mindful walk. You can literally take five minutes and slow down instead of focusing on what you're worried about.

"I don't know that there's ever not going to be challenging external pressures on any of us. External reality just changes. How we're going to live with it is what we have to do differently."

Pass it on

It's not just about being more mindful; it's also helpful to behave accordingly, Forsyth said.

"This is the season where people typically would like to give," he said. "And giving doesn't have to involve products or money. One simple way of giving might be to let somebody in front of you in a line, knowing that you're going to wait a little longer. Or letting somebody into traffic in front of you.

"Extending a smile instead of a harsh word; giving somebody your time. That can have an odd effect ... like a pebble being dropped in a pond."

But, also make sure you're being kind to yourself, he warns.

"We fill our days up with a million other mundane tasks and forget to take care of ourselves," Forsyth said. "But that's so important. Even if it's a few minutes, just to do something kind for yourself ... making a cup of tea or going for a walk or reading a book or making a nice meal for yourself or just pausing for a moment and connecting with what it is about the season that brings you joy and satisfaction. That can be a very powerful practice, as well."

Opportunities can be found among the holiday season's pressures.

Wish, who frequently writes articles about stress management for the National Association of Social Workers, advises families to start new, low-stress holiday traditions that bring everyone to a better appreciation of the season and each other.

For starters, she suggests going through the house, finding good items of clothing or toys that aren't being used anymore and donating them to charities.

"Invite people over, and everybody brings one dish, so now Thanksgiving or Christmas becomes less expensive," Wish said. "For cheap entertainment, every year you rent and watch a different Christmas movie rather than put out all that money to go see Jim Carrey in "A Christmas Carol."

"The important thing here is to use all life experiences as opportunities to rekindle your strength and bonds," Wish said.

At the same time, it's important to be cognizant of the signs of stress, and more pointedly, major depression, in oneself and others.

While it is a myth that more suicides occur around the holidays, it is a particularly tough time for those suffering from thoughts of self-harm, according to Mary Jean Coleman, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's national director of field programs and regional director for upstate New York.

"Research historically shows us that December is one of the lowest months (for suicides)," Coleman said. "Thanksgiving, Christmas - the holidays are times where people get together, so perhaps someone who is having thoughts of suicide is using those times as those last times with their family and friends.

"We do see an increase in the spring months."

Overall, the year so far has been a busy one for professionals like Coleman who work to improve society's understanding of suicide and improve suicide prevention programs. She estimated demand for the training services her foundation provides is up 40 percent from 2008.

She urged families to use the holidays as an opportunity to listen to one another and not to hesitate in getting help if help is needed.

"We want to encourage people to be alert to the possibility of suicide, to know and ask directly, and to know what the resources are," Coleman said.

She also suggested those struggling to find help with such issues who don't know where else to turn should call the national hotline, 800-273-TALK, which is available at all times.